In Defense of Carabao Wrestling and Other Stupid Actuations

(There is nothing true of what I am going to write below. This is purely for your entertainment and sumsuman or pulutan when you happen to drink beer with your eskrimador friends. Please don't be a fool to take this seriously.)

For the Thugs and Kali devotees in the Philippines, carabao wrestling is a form of worship. No blood must be spilled, instead a kalista can trip, the beast down (preferably must be a heifer). The kalista can chop off the horn with his fist a la Oyama, but there should be no blood. It must be done in the leech-infested rice paddy (representing defilement). This is a tough and imbecile conditioning but good physical training. Simply put all kalistas (or eskrimadors) must undergo this training under the supervision of a legitimate representative of the Goddess here.

The question now is this . . . why not allow the carabao blood to spill but slit the neck of the chicken? One reason is that, carabao is a mammal whilst chicken is not, in fact the chicken are the descendants of the dinosaurs. And dinosaurs were simply pets of the "reptilian race" the Annunaki. They are good only for halal food but not good offerings to Goddess Kali.